{ in which I think about that Other Fandom wot I used to love. }

You know who really isn't all that hot? Or rather, tries too hard at being hot? Liz Warner. I'm sorry, people, I just can't get anything from her. I think this is probably because she's basically just a Don!prop but it's frustrating. She'd be awesome for girlsecks if I gave even a bit of a damn about her. If she's being functional in an episode, I don't mind her; if she's being a prop, she irritates me a lot. Other than Don, we know what about her? Does she have an opinion about anything? Does she have characterisation? What exactly is her skillset? Is she a female Colby, i.e. a grunt? I don't - WHAT DOES SHE DO? And what exactly were the contrivances that brought her onto Don's cases so often? I mean, wasn't she in her own department which is why she showed up again in 3x13 (Finders Keepers)? So! Damn! Proppy!

It's not like she's the first token girlfriend to appear in a show ever; she's not even the first maternity replacement. But even Eames' replacement on Criminal Intent (Bishop) had her own personality. Jeebus, within the show itself, Millie has personality by the bucketload. SINGLE-SHOW GUEST STARS HAVE MORE PERSONALITY THAN LIZ WARNER. I know more about Billy Cooper than Liz Warner. More about Crystal Hoyle. More about SANDY LOPEZ than I do LIZ WARNER, and I don't even know Sandy Lopez's ACTUAL NAME.

Also. ALSO. Don Eppes, do you really care about this woman past sleeping with her? I just don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I can't tell from what I've seen. The dialogue never matches the body language. (When he says, "I'm crazy about you!" like he thought she knew that, I was totally on her side for not being sure because from the way he acts, you can never tell. Not once.)

I was not expecting this post to turn into this (it was actually going to be NCIS meta, haha?) but there we go. Obviously all this screencap selection is getting to me. But seriously, if I wanted to write about Numb3rs, I don't know if I could write about Liz. On the one hand, her being tabula rasa means you can write near-enough anything. On the other hand, I don't want to formulate a characterisation and have it jossed because then it's difficult to adapt to the actual character and you end up resenting the show for not being more like what you want it to be (Hi, Don!) At least with Don I can make a case for consistency (or, rather, I can explain the emotional arc). I'm not the biggest fan of this Don, but I can see why he is the way that he is. As I've said before, I find him to be pretty regressive and I wish he'd pedal down already, but whatever. I can explain it. I just can't do anything with Liz's character, and it ain't for lack of trying. (I can write Howard Meeks, for fuck's sake. HOWARD MEEKS. As in Joshua Malina's character.)

Stop making Don's girlfriends hollow props! Stop doing it! It was the same thing with Robin whatsherface and the blonde AUSA who I always want to name Naomi but is actually called... Nadine! HOLLOW CHARACTERS. How are we supposed to endorse these characters if you don't give us something to play with? I know you're all anti-fanfic, or whatever, but your fanbase grows because of fanfiction. If we can't play with the characters, we can't gun for them. It's not like you people are RTD who can get away with this ignore-the-fanbase BS. You don't work for the BBC. Do something about this. You obviously like this Liz Warner person. So do something. And if you can find Don's balls, hand 'em back, would you?

{ ha, I got that one right, didn't I? }

Ziva David why are you so difficult for me to talk about when I quite obviously WANT to talk about you and your Daddy Issues and what have you. It is possibly more difficult because I've yet to rewatch all of the first half of season 3 again (most of which I blahed through the first time because NCIS and I were having a falling out which led to me leaving the relationship, only to come crawling back when S4 started. I KNOW. I'M SUCH A H0R). I think it is also difficult because I don't have a lot to say, but it feels like I have a lot to say, and possibly I have already said it to twincy who I think is (possibly?) the only person to care.

But you came to us! You came, with your open sexuality, your femslashy vibes with Jenny, your wobbly family history (Daddy Issues and I ( spoiler! )

Issues included), and your uncomfortable fit into the team. I still maintain that the first episode I felt comfortable watching you in was Frame-Up although I'm certain the re-watch will lead me to think that you were awesome long before then.

Since then, things have happened. You're not an assassin anymore, you don't just kill people willy-nilly (by the way, Jethro is a bastard to you over that, and your Sacrifice is a double-edged blade by the end of S3, which is why it's even more awesome when you go to see him in the finale), you often sport an orange hat and apparently you have a DiNozzo Complex (à la twincy Kate, which, please. Ziva, get a grip. Unrequited Whatever That Is doesn't look good on you). You're still having trouble with those damn idioms, and you're still making mistakes that semantically speaking make no freaking sense. I go through periods of loving that and loathing it, so, we'll see.

So, let's say that season 3 is about finding somewhere to belong in the team and that by 4x01, Shalom, you're fully, actually there (it's not certain in 3x23, Jeopardy, that's for sure, even if fandom would like to think so because the one person who wavers all the way through is Gibbs and Gibbs matters what with him taking on the pater-role) and all debts are paid. Then season 4 must be where you fit the team and you're free to lose some defences. But apparently you gain defensiveness too because, hey, Orange Hat Man and then the Possibly Unrequited Whatever That Is. Gibbs trusts you (by the end of Shalom, that's certain; his ( spoilers! )

and you make that point again: a year ago, you would have. Now you know - not better, I don't think, but you do know different. That's not how things work here. That is not acceptable behaviour).

Ah, Shalom. Are debts really repaid? I mean, Jethro says in Hiatus, "I owe you," but if you consider Shalom, that's never equal, is it? It's only equal if Jethro ( spoilers! sort of! )

and Ziva assumes that it's a one-off thing, that he makes an exception. Except. DUDE. It's not. It's not that at all. ZIVA. HE STILL OWES YOU. And you've felt like you've owed him since Kill Ari Part 2. Two things: (a) you're the only person who Knows before Hiatus and (b) you believe in Ari so fucking much, and you're wrong. So in a way, I don't know because this is stretching it, but in a way, it's almost as if Kate's death - and all associated grief - it's like you take that on yourself. Is this because of Tali? I mean, you were an assassin. Was this before Jenny? Did working with Jenny 'redeem' you? I don't know. I find it sad. (Ari says Gibbs has the unfortunate quality of reminding him of his father. SO FUCKING TELLING if you consider what Ziva reveals only minutes later.) (Not like that isn't obvious, though.) But I wonder, Ziva. I do. Because your Daddy Issues want to transfer and they sort of do (because Jethro simultaneously accepts and rejects her) but they also really don't (because Jethro simultaneously accepts and rejects her).

Anyway, my dilemma is this: I don't know how to write you. If I write backstory, I'm going to be playing with fire. I have no idea what your childhood would have been like. I'm tempted to do it that way anyway, though, because that's where things begin (your father, your God, your sister, your brother). Alternatively, when Jethro arrives (LATE) to Kate's funeral, he tells Jenny that Ziva is escorting ( spoiler )

back to Tel Aviv. Your grief is private, isn't it? And there is both winning and losing in that situation. So that works well, too. I think I can mix it up and play with both halves of that. So.

WHATEVER. Ziva. I'm glad I fell for you. I mean, it was touch and go, what with my leaving and returning and missing vital pieces of information. But here we are.

(Addendum: I love wiki, if only because it reminded me that you boast numerous talents such as a near-photographic memory and the ability to rappel down a cliff without safety ropes. Girl, you hardcore.)