{ in which I think about that Other Fandom wot I used to love. }

[delga]

You know who really isn't all that hot? Or rather, tries too hard at being hot? Liz Warner. I'm sorry, people, I just can't get anything from her. I think this is probably because she's basically just a Don!prop but it's frustrating. She'd be awesome for girlsecks if I gave even a bit of a damn about her. If she's being functional in an episode, I don't mind her; if she's being a prop, she irritates me a lot. Other than Don, we know what about her? Does she have an opinion about anything? Does she have characterisation? What exactly is her skillset? Is she a female Colby, i.e. a grunt? I don't - WHAT DOES SHE DO? And what exactly were the contrivances that brought her onto Don's cases so often? I mean, wasn't she in her own department which is why she showed up again in 3x13 (Finders Keepers)? So! Damn! Proppy!

It's not like she's the first token girlfriend to appear in a show ever; she's not even the first maternity replacement. But even Eames' replacement on Criminal Intent (Bishop) had her own personality. Jeebus, within the show itself, Millie has personality by the bucketload. SINGLE-SHOW GUEST STARS HAVE MORE PERSONALITY THAN LIZ WARNER. I know more about Billy Cooper than Liz Warner. More about Crystal Hoyle. More about SANDY LOPEZ than I do LIZ WARNER, and I don't even know Sandy Lopez's ACTUAL NAME.

Also. ALSO. Don Eppes, do you really care about this woman past sleeping with her? I just don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I can't tell from what I've seen. The dialogue never matches the body language. (When he says, "I'm crazy about you!" like he thought she knew that, I was totally on her side for not being sure because from the way he acts, you can never tell. Not once.)

I was not expecting this post to turn into this (it was actually going to be NCIS meta, haha?) but there we go. Obviously all this screencap selection is getting to me. But seriously, if I wanted to write about Numb3rs, I don't know if I could write about Liz. On the one hand, her being tabula rasa means you can write near-enough anything. On the other hand, I don't want to formulate a characterisation and have it jossed because then it's difficult to adapt to the actual character and you end up resenting the show for not being more like what you want it to be (Hi, Don!) At least with Don I can make a case for consistency (or, rather, I can explain the emotional arc). I'm not the biggest fan of this Don, but I can see why he is the way that he is. As I've said before, I find him to be pretty regressive and I wish he'd pedal down already, but whatever. I can explain it. I just can't do anything with Liz's character, and it ain't for lack of trying. (I can write Howard Meeks, for fuck's sake. HOWARD MEEKS. As in Joshua Malina's character.)

Stop making Don's girlfriends hollow props! Stop doing it! It was the same thing with Robin whatsherface and the blonde AUSA who I always want to name Naomi but is actually called... Nadine! HOLLOW CHARACTERS. How are we supposed to endorse these characters if you don't give us something to play with? I know you're all anti-fanfic, or whatever, but your fanbase grows because of fanfiction. If we can't play with the characters, we can't gun for them. It's not like you people are RTD who can get away with this ignore-the-fanbase BS. You don't work for the BBC. Do something about this. You obviously like this Liz Warner person. So do something. And if you can find Don's balls, hand 'em back, would you?