{ !!!!!! }

[delga]

OH MAN.

So, most days, if we remember, The Sister and I spend midday-1pm watching a double-bill of Whose Line Is It Anyway? Except I hate adverts so inbetween, we'll probably switch to one of the music channels. Every day, between 12-1pm, the music channel has a countdown of the most requested tracks.

GUYS. SHAYNE WARD IS SO CAMP. I don't even know who he is (The Sister said he was on X-Factor?) I get the sense that he's NEVER danced before because he's SO INTENSE and he pushes into all of the moves without giving thought as to the fluidity needed to move into the next one/pose. He LOCKS his SHOULDERS TOO FAR. The background dancers looks like they're having MASSES of FUN and it's all SHINY and these are RICH, YOUNG THINGS being PRETTY and JOYOUS. Except Shane looks like he's that CRAZY INTENSE STALKER who you NEVER want to see again because he might try to DO YOUR HAIR or RE-ARRANGE YOUR FURNITURE.

AND WHAT IS HE WEARING?

I mean, the dance shouldn't be that insane. It's your fairly average over-choreographed pop and when I watch the professionals bouncing around in the back, it looks pretty sophisticated. But I CANNOT get OVER Ward's CRAZY-ASS ARM MUSCLES which he so often presents to the screen. And, not that I was looking, but it was kind of hard not to see, his hind looks like it's in pain. Some serious muscle contraction going on there. (There's also one move in the end montage where he slides to the side and lifts-then-drops his arms. GUYS. HILARIOUS!)

And! Check out those lyrics! I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth. YOU DON'T GIVE BIRTH AS A GIFT. IT'S A VERB PHRASE. And! That scene when all those people are coming forward to TOUCH HIM and STARE at him with LONGING, like maybe he's SECRETLY JESUS.

The worst part of it is that I actually quite like the song! I mean, for what it is. The melody is pop-pretty, and the video is the kind of over-produced shiny that appeals to my inner 16 year old. I can't stand the lyrics. BUT STILL. MAN.

--

OH MY GOD. He ALWAYS looks that way! Like he wants to OWN your SOUL and if he can't he might have to KILL SOMEONE. Damn. Scary.

And some times he just looks like a kicked puppy. OH MY GOD.

--

Today we also saw Kate whatsherface Nash who as soon as I heard her, I was all LILY ALLEN MIMIC. And then The Sister told me that they're apparently best friends? AND THEN I realised that there's something less cheeky, more indie-aspiring about her. The song is pretty good, but it's sort of Lily Allen meets The Streets in terms of lyricism and tone. Until the chorus, which is lovely. She's not as openly crass as Allen, although there's that part in the bridge about her wasted guy throwing up on her shoes, and she does have that deadpan rhythm The Streets so often display - then I'll use that voice that you find annoying and say something like / "yeah, intelligent input, darling, why don't you just have another beer then?". I've never heard her before and whilst I imagine after a while she could be quite irritating, I think Foundations is pretty good.

Surfing YouTube, I found Caroline which I can't really describe because I can't really see what she's doing. There's something Regina-esque about this but also something just plain FUCK ANNOYING. So I can't decide if she's supposed to be the Anastacia to Lily's Drusilla (which would obviously make Corinne Bailey Rae, Cinderella?) or what the hell is going on. I do think Foundations is cute, though, even if she decided to rhyme 'bit-tah' with 'fit-tah'.

--

AND THEN WE SAW SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING HORRIFIC. (UM. That unfortunately leads to their site because apparently it's too horrific for YouTube. Seriously, I couldn't find it there. WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?)

Apparently Girls Aloud are now human versions of the Powerpuff Girls except they're tied to the floor in GIANT RED BAGS. (The song is called Sexy! No, No, No... and NO, NO, NO is about right because I have NO WORDS to describe how WEIRD their get up is in this video. I can't even remember what the song is like, the whole thing is THAT DISTRESSING.)

BEWARNED. SCARY SHIT.

Comments

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Hee, so much fun! Midday has never seemed so enticing...

Possibly some overwrought reactions from me there - but it was on widescreen! The images were very large and very scary!

[hestia8.livejournal.com]

1. That Shayne Ward video is genius. Mainly because all his last singles were deathly boring ballads and now he is Justin Timberlake Zero. And somewhere, someone will be denying that they were in any way thinking about emulating Timberlake with the new music/look/dancing/image/his entire life. Oh, and this amused me: http://music.guardian.co.uk/pickardofthepops/page/0,,2144223,00.html
2. I love Foundations but really dislike Caroline. There's just something about it.
3. I have no idea what has happened to Girls Aloud, but the new song makes me sad for all the poppy brilliance that has wandered off somewhere (presumably when they covered I Think We're Alone Now).

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

I nearly always just catch the tail end of the song, so having now seen the beginning, well - it's an even bigger laugh. I love the song! It's stuck in my head! And yet: man, check him out in that get up. And the other two tracks looked really, really boring. Like he was a one-man boyband. (THAT LINK! That link is pretty much saying most of what I think. Except I was less damning. And his eyes freak me out.)

A flister just linked me a live/acoustic version of Caroline and it's so much better! Having listened to the single all-through, I like it a bit more, but really. What is with all that "caro--- LINE" stuff? I don't know if it's just because I don't listen to commercial radio so much any more, but sometimes pop music just goes straight by me. I just don't understand it. (Like N Bedingfield's I Wanna Have Your Babies. MAN. WHAT IS THAT?)

Widescreen. Terrifying. Just - The Sister and I both shrieked. Sigh.

[hestia8.livejournal.com]

He was a one-man Westlife. Now...someone slightly better than that.

You should read through her other video reviews, she's very funny (especially the I Wanna Have Your Babies one)

I think had I heard Caroline first, I wouldn't have liked Kate Nash at all, but because I heard Foundations first, I'm willing to let it go, if that makes sense.

Also, no-one understands I Wanna Have Your Babies. It's the most terrifying song ever released (Dear refers to it as 'I Wanna Smash Your Face In', which, well, yes). It's just...there are no words. except somehow I know all the lyrics *scrubs brain*

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm checking out the archives now. I Wanna Have Your Babies - the video for that was like watching a horror movie. Beware The Spawn! or something like that.

No, I get what you mean, too; I'd have been the same.

Someone handed over both albums, so I've been listening. Man. I want to like N. Bed (hahahaha) but she gets it wrong more often than she gets it right. I like most of the singles she's released but I also go through periods of vicious hatred for them. I Wanna Have Your Babies should be good, theoretically. It's a bit tongue-in-cheek, fairly pop-happy and it can eat your brain. And YET. Creepy. (I LOVE that she rhymes babies with daisies; I find that to be a turn of crazy, crazy genius and yet still a really ODD and DISTURBING image.)

[hestia8.livejournal.com]

>> she gets it wrong more often than she gets it right.

Yes! Exactly! I really liked Single, and sometimes I like the second one, um, the one that goes on about 'read some Byron Shelley and Keats, recited it over a hip hop beat' and then ends 'that's all i've got to say, I love you is that okay?', but other times I'd quite happily never hear her singing ever again.

I think the problem with I Wanna Have Your Babies is that it might be supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but it really doesn't look like that. It looks like she's a crazy stalker woman.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Um...*thinks* I know what you're talking about, and I really like that one. Flip if I can remember what it's called, though. Single grew on me, and I liked Unwritten for what it was.

It looks like she's a crazy stalker woman.
EXACTLY! That's EXACTLY what it is. Also, like she's prowling around eyeing guys up for DNA-compatibility. Which: ?!

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

THESE WORDS. That's the one. Phew.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Heh. I sort of like the Ward song melodically, but yo, that video does not suit the song at all. The tune's all laid back and sort of sway-y and chilling, and then on the video, they're all, "Shake yo'ass, mama, get the groove on, bounce, bounce! This is energetic, man!" *shakes head*

I suspect that Caroline is some cracked-up remix of the studio version because I found this off YT. Or maybe it's the other way around? One way or the other. But, the version you linked to... I think it has potential inside that genre, but I don't know. I find it too repetitive in a not-the-good-electro way, and especially the 'killa, killa, killa' is bloody annoying.

Speaking of Allen, you wouldn't happen to have any songs by her other than Smile that you could sort of chuck my way, would you? I'd love to hear more from her because all the frigging world is raving about her, but I've only heard Smile and the piano there made me want to stab myself so I've not paid any attention to her. So, maybe? If it's no trouble?

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

I know. Talk about MIXED MESSAGES. Now I'm going to be bopping on the dancefloor and REALLY CONFUSED when no-one else is dropping-then-lifting their arms in sync with me. SIGH.

Um.

The version I linked was the single and whilst I sort of see what it's trying to do, I got distracted by all the kill-ah crap, not to mention that thing she does, breaking the name in half? Caro--- LINE. WHAT? I think the version you linked is so much better! Sigh. Foundations, though, that has something going for it.

Ha, yeah. I don't really know what to do with Lily Allen because sometimes I LOVE HER quite passionately (she's cheeky! She's crass! Her shoes are for the win!) and other times I just want to turn the channel. I was disappointed by most of the album (I think because I don't have the time for her variation on ska) but it's got moments. I think Nan, You're a Window Shopper is hilarious, especially now that I know it's a parody of a 50 Cent song; LDN is a big summer hit that I have a lot of love for, Alfie, too. There's something so... British about her, which is what makes her pop a little different, I guess, because it's a lot about ironising the current music scene. Or something.

LINK. (http://www.box.net/shared/hj0u48op6s) (Am also including an acoustic version of Smile that's quite nice.)

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Because apparently I'm a masochist? But IT'S FUNNY! And not really that bad, on the whole. But I love how he looks so surprised/scared out of his skull through most of it. :) (Also, Paolo Nutini's version of the same song, which is lovely. OH! And his version of Gnarl's Barkley's Crazy? FOR THE WIN! Now I just need to find the full copy. And now I'm seriously getting side-tracked. Ahem.)

The Caro-LINE thing reminds me of Mike Myers in My Wife Is An Axe Murderer. I suspect it's supposed to be a parody of a certain sort of "artsy" spoken-work singing thing. Maybe. I don't know. Foundations has something going for it, yeah. I'd heard it a couple of weeks ago on the radio, and even though, yeah, first thought was Allen, it's still a catchy song with very nice musicals. The rest of her songs, though, seem a bit same-ish, so I guess we'll just have to sit and wait to see if anything comes out of her.

I love the lyrics in Smile. They are cheeky and whatnot, and that's lovely. But yeah, the piano. *shiver* Anyway, yes, thank you! You are golden! I shall now download and be merry, yes.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, I saw that and then I sort of felt SORRY for him? Because X-Factor is this whole other level of shuddersome, and he felt so EARNEST and LOUIS was picking the WRONG SONGS and he's not really a DANCER but he was going to put his HEART and SOUL into it . (And AGAIN with those INTENSE EYES. It's like he's reaching out from the screen for the battered remains of my soul. !!!) I imagine that he's actually very, very sweet and fairly humble, and I don't know him from anyone, but that video. MAN. I understood what it was aming for but for whatever reason, it didn't pull it off. Maybe because I haven't seen music videos in a while? I think the last one I saw like that was Mario's You Should Let Me Love You but I was fascinated by the choreography in that in a much more positive way. Even though re-watching it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfbBEAuARfk), I love the mini-movie they've put into it, so there's some sort of narrative. Also, this video isn't that much better, but I think because the guy looks more comfortable, it's passable.

Paolo! Aw. That version is so nice. Will have to rip it. I think I know someone with a copy of that. I'll send it your way if I get it.

HAHAHAHA! OH MAN. I'm sure they were aiming for that, lolz. From what I've heard, Nash is trying to get onto her own two feet, but if that's what she wants, she's going to have to branch out away from Allen's style considerably. We'll see what else she has.

I can't believe I'm devoting so much to pop music. I mean, I love it, but in a pretty off-hand way, you know?

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

What is X-Factor, by the way? Is it like, Brit idols or something? (THE EYES ARE SCARY!) Also, it's a bit weird how they styled him to look like Timberlake for this song.

It's a lovely version, isn't it? A lot more sensitive and soulful than the Timberlake (or Shayne!) version. And I love how, in that performance of Crazy, the laugh part? He sounds sort of desperate and bonkers, and it gives something so much more to the song than what was in the original. His rough voice compliments this song perfectly. (By the way, from comments to another one of his performances of this song: "i LOVE paolo nutini, believe me, but he didnt capture the essence of the song!he's supposed to be sayin "haha bless your soul, you really think your in control" in a condescending, i know more than you manner!" ...Need I say anything?)

Yeah, she really needs to make a break from Allen. Maybe not trying to emphasize her accent so much could do the trick? I don't know, it just seems to me that that's maybe the thing that makes her sound too much like Allen.

Yeah, I know. But it has good bits too! Just... not most of it.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Yeah. We had a PopStar and then a PopIdol, and then the guy behind Pop Idol (American Idol before it hit the USA) decided to spruce up the formula a bit. The three judges whittle down contestants and then supply three acts each. Each judge is in charge of a specific age group (so as to diversify the talent that's coming in). It was to stop the whole thing from being so teenage-pop-led because people can bring in other musical talents. But it's still basically a talent contest.

Like Hestia8 said, he's basically being styled like some sort of Timberlake 2.0 (or, as someone else just said, dot co dot uk, which made me laugh pretty hard.)

That version is so much better because it's danceable without having to be a dance track, and so he's not skipping on the music for the bass beat. I'm all for bass, I can live on drums, but the guitar work in that version is hands down brilliant. (I'm not really a fan of the original?)

I think it's the accent, too. But also: the UK has had two other rising stars this year, Corinne Bailey Rae and (she-devil) Amy Winehouse, and their sounds are so distinctive. There's no way you're going to mix those two up with Allen. But Nash's work appears too close to Allen's niche. (Having listened to Allen today whilst uploading, they are different. Just not enough. And I hope that doesn't hurt Nash because her style, now that I'm 'decoding' it, is likeable.)

I think pop exists so that in ten years' time you can listen to it and feel happy because (a) nostalgia trip and (b) the guilt over it is gone, and your love can be blamed on the folly of youth. That's my excuse for my RAGING Spice Girls love. (And there music doesn't even equal Ward's song. !)

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Dot co dot uk! HA!

Exactly. And I love the bit where the music sort of... pauses? I can't remember what it does. Um. Well, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, it was quite a long bit. (Me neither. I mean, it was an okay song but, I felt, not even half as good as people made it sound. It's decent, but I'm not all yay! brilliance! over it.)

Yeah, maybe it is the timing that's way off. They are different, at least what I can tell judging from the little I've heard of both, but still too same for the general public to be able to make out the difference; I don't think your average radio listener would take the time to pay attention because of this fact. Or maybe, it could also happen so that people end up liking Nash because she reminds them of Allen. Who knows how these things ever work out.

Heh. You're possibly very, very right. You have to have songs that are catchy and easy enough for as many people as possible to find them tolerable, and then behold! a bond that... bonds and entire generation! huzzah!

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Yeah, bleed-through fans, which is a term I hate (because: EW) but is appropriate. And it's Allen who was backing Nash to begin with, so it makes sense that she's feeling some of the backlash there.

It's possibly the only way The Spice Girls bring about World Peace. (What a HORRIFIC thought.)

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

...Now I'm having horrifying mental images of soldiers of different sides linking hands and swaying to 2 becomes 1. AND DOING THE CHOREOGRAPHY IN APPROPRIATE PLACES!

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

At this point I want to be all "MY EYES, MY EYES!" but unfortunately it's more like "MY BRAIN, MY BRAAAIIIN!"

Gah. *scrubs*

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry! I damaged your brain! Sorry. I hope you have some chocolate for comfort at hand.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's okay. I'll just drill through my cranium and pour some in to numb the damage. It'll smell good if nothing else.

...don't take this wrong, but you sure bring out the crazy in me. I don't even know what I just said.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Heh. It not wrong taken.

(pst. Oh. My. God.)

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

By the way, I need to ask you a favour: if you have the Wire theme, could you share? Please? *begs*

(!!! I sincerely mean it when I have no words to express the extent of my glee. Also: his face when he sings!)

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course! But the thing is, it's in Turku, so you'll have to wait a bit. Poke me if I haven't remembered to post it after I get back.

(I know! It's all... !!!)

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Yay! You = ftw. (Am on the last episode of S1. Colour me hella relieved to see Kima. I mean, damn.)

(I've listened to it three times now - the close-up? Makes me Very Very Happy. !)

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

(*MORE OF THE FLAILING MADLY! AND EXCITEDLY!* Oh my. I listened to the bouncy version like... okay, I lost count of how many times, but at least two dozen. And then I happened to click on this link, and... ACOUSTIC VERSION! And it's at least as good!)

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

HOT DAMN. His voice just presses up against that sound doesn't it? Hits you right through to your toes. Damn.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Couldn't have said it any better myself. I'm getting chills all over my body. HOT DAMN, exactly.

And YES! The bit around 2:20! I was just going to point that out when your comment arrived. It's... I have no words. It's just so fantastic. (Also, I love the look on his face when he does it, like he's feeling it.) And how the pressure builds as the song proceeds, getting heavier and heavier and more desperate until the musical solo, after which it's sort resigned and sad and weary.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

And it feels so different, too, to the other version. Like, this one feels like it was made on the streets where the day to day is the had press, and you can feel the sound pressing against the part of you that is tired and wanting, whilst the other one sounds like the city at night, all bodies and that head-mix of alcohol with burning muscles from jumping too hard. Like it should be played loud so that you can't hear anything else.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

... I love you. Seriously.

I couldn't have described it any better in a million years.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Hey, you brought the goods.

OK, I'm going to quit pinging you for 10 minutes in case these email notifications keep messing up your sound rip. *g*

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Heh. You again make me sound like a drug dealer.

Oh. Yeah, thanks! Didn't consider that. I should be done quite soon, as long as I remind myself how to use this thing.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

A special talent! Meisha: sullying everybody, all the time! Even her own self!

...even her own self? Been watching too much TV.

Hppe you managed to work it out. By my calculation, it's just past 10 at your neck of the woods. We're running late tonight so I have to go down and set the table now. Then I have to decide whether or not I'm going out tomorrow night. Oy.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

I did manage to work it out and I'm currently, um, ripping songs like it's going out of style. *sheepish*

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Tut tut. Officer, I just knew by the look of her that something ain't right, you know, it was all up in her eyes. That girl had something bad in her."

lolz.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Heh. You nutter. And besides, what's with the drug comparisons with us all the time? Sumit fishy goin' on, for sure.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

TRUE DAT.

No, seriously. Stone sober, too. (I guess that's why it's the special crack, eh? Oh dear, there's another.)

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

!!!! When he repeats the last line of the chorus (2.20)? OH MY.

[wliberation.livejournal.com]

Oh, and yes, Kima! That was suspenseful. I was sure they'd make her, you know, be no more.