{ Tadeusz Różewicz: Draft of a Modern Love Poem. }

[delga]

Draft of a Modern Love Poem
by Tadeusz Różewicz

And yet white
is best described by gray
bird by stone
sunflowers
in December

love poems of old
were descriptions of the flesh
described this and that
for instance eyelashes

and yet red
should be described
by gray the sun by rain
poppies in November
lips by night

the most tangible
description of bread
is a description of hunger
in it is
the damp porous core
the warm interior
sunflowers at night
the breasts belly thighs of Cybele

a spring-clear
transparent description
of water
is a description of thirst
ashes
desert
it produces a mirage
clouds and trees move into
the mirror

Lack hunger
absence
of flesh
is a description of love
is a modern love poem

Translated by Magnus J. Krynski and Robert A. Maguire

--

and yet red / should be described / by gray the sun by rain / poppies in November / lips by night - absence/presence, and all that negative space.

Comments

[the-grynne.livejournal.com]

I love this poem by Rosewicz, though it's my first encounter with this translation. The Czeslaw Milosz version is the one I remember.

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

I hadn't seen the Milosz translation before I read it in your journal. I love the subtle differences between the two versions. The Milosz is more fluent, but the Krynski/Maguire has an incidental quality to it. Thanks for posting the Milosz.

edit: the variation in the closing lines is tiny but it makes such a difference! I think I might do a post on translations.

[the-grynne.livejournal.com]

The difference of a single word! How I wish I could read the original Polish. :)