Wonderful. I love how the second line cuts off (is there a word for that in English? I've learned it as enjambement) -- and rain imagery almost always works for me.
I am a huge fan of enjambement (yes), and ditto on the rain imagery. Rain, water, astronomy and Greek mythological metaphors/imagery pretty much has me in hand.
Birds is an interesting one; umbrellas, too. Open road, yes! I'm all for the travel/road trip story. And the one leaving home. And the one avoiding home. And the one returning home. ...&c.
Good, angsty coming home story = one of my favourite kinds. I also love the doomed to drift type, the I'll never have a home kind.
I think I blame the birds on Poe. The umbrellas are more of a visual thing. Actually, some of these only apply to certain types of art (umbrellas, birds), while others (rain, open road) work in songs, visial art, poems and prose. I also have a thing for songs about/referencing cities.
Doomed to drift makes me cry like a baby but it hurts so good.
Yeah, that makes sense. Most of mine cross the border from art to art, but some have specific locales. I have a thing for songs that reference events or people. Cities only if it's New York or London. Oh, also? Gypsies. And female assassins /kink
Everything is at tja_rama. Check your community invites (http://www.livejournal.com/manage/invites.bml) :)
I don't know, I think it's coming out beautifully; the trick is in condensing ideas and images to short snapshots, almost like drabbles do with fic. I don't normally write hiaku because they're so restrictive but since the drabble challenge, I've been thinking more about them.
Everything is at tja_rama. Check your community invites :)
Cool, thanks. I friended you (hard to find the time between all these replies hehehe) and as far as the *other* part goes I don't speak of it publicly, but I hope you'll enjoy what you find. /winks/
the trick is in condensing ideas and images to short snapshots, almost like drabbles do with fic. I don't normally write hiaku because they're so restrictive but since the drabble challenge, I've been thinking more about them.
I like restrictions as a challenge. When I took Poetry in college I was intrigued by sestinas and haiku and their ilk. What can I say? I enjoy both severe structure and complete free form. I'm eccentric that way. ;-)
I like dropping haiku into LJ posts since they require no advance work on my part and they are a fun way to inject poetry into the everyday. Which, IMHO, is not a bad thing at all. /grins/
Speaking of snapshots (of both kinds)...
Still, a photo lies against the wall - forgotten. It's how we were once.
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 11:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 11:36 pm (UTC)I think I blame the birds on Poe. The umbrellas are more of a visual thing. Actually, some of these only apply to certain types of art (umbrellas, birds), while others (rain, open road) work in songs, visial art, poems and prose. I also have a thing for songs about/referencing cities.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-12 11:42 pm (UTC)Doomed to drift makes me cry like a baby but it hurts so good.
Yeah, that makes sense. Most of mine cross the border from art to art, but some have specific locales. I have a thing for songs that reference events or people. Cities only if it's New York or London. Oh, also? Gypsies.
And female assassins /kinkno subject
Date: 2006-11-17 10:35 pm (UTC)Day; I run away,
turn towards the sun, yet wind up
on the road to you.
-Emma
no subject
Date: 2006-11-17 10:39 pm (UTC)My haiku is inevitably a shamble next to Masaoka Shiki's but I try. My latest came out in medias res, apparently. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-11-17 11:06 pm (UTC)You mentioned Greek mythology (one of my faves) and astronomy, so here's another attempt for you.
Stars lured me away
from earth, from you; look for me
in Orion's hand.
My haiku is so amateur I can't hold it up to *anyone's*, but I enjoy it, thus I soldier on...
no subject
Date: 2006-11-17 11:13 pm (UTC)I don't know, I think it's coming out beautifully; the trick is in condensing ideas and images to short snapshots, almost like drabbles do with fic. I don't normally write hiaku because they're so restrictive but since the drabble challenge, I've been thinking more about them.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-18 01:22 am (UTC)Cool, thanks. I friended you (hard to find the time between all these replies hehehe) and as far as the *other* part goes I don't speak of it publicly, but I hope you'll enjoy what you find. /winks/
the trick is in condensing ideas and images to short snapshots, almost like drabbles do with fic. I don't normally write hiaku because they're so restrictive but since the drabble challenge, I've been thinking more about them.
I like restrictions as a challenge. When I took Poetry in college I was intrigued by sestinas and haiku and their ilk. What can I say? I enjoy both severe structure and complete free form. I'm eccentric that way. ;-)
I like dropping haiku into LJ posts since they require no advance work on my part and they are a fun way to inject poetry into the everyday. Which, IMHO, is not a bad thing at all. /grins/
Speaking of snapshots (of both kinds)...
Still, a photo lies
against the wall - forgotten.
It's how we were once.