Downside-up

[delga]

Seriously, I was mad earlier. Real mad. But now I'm not. And there are reasons for that, reasons that are outlined below. But first, the rant.

WARNING: DEALS WITH UNCOMFORTABLE TOPICS.

My god, I was just appalled by last night and this, to me, is ironic because it wasn't really an episode about a sex crime. It was a homicide. But mostly, I was appalled because it didn't even try to address the topic it had brought up.

The premise was this: a girl was found dead; there was evidence of recent sex and she appeared to be around 13/14. But she wasn't. She was 19. And she was a gymnast.

Do you know why she seemed so much younger?

She was anorexic.

[Actually, she was bulimic but both anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa result to marginally the same thing; the difference is in levels of weight loss and a binge-purge cycle associated with sufferers of bulimia].

She had a verging-on-abusive trainer who pushed his girls into, basically, becoming anorectics. The reason she wasn't developing physically was because she had lost so much weight that she was suffering amenorrhoea; this resulted in a lack of oestrogen that resulted in a lack of development. And SVU didn't even discuss the reasons for this or the consequences or anything. They just let it slip.

OK, yeh, people know that anorexia is a problem. But it wasn't even shown that these girls were suffering. It was stipulated that a lot of pressure was being put on them (through Stabler's family - again - and even then he got it wrong. His daughter wanted to go to a good college and was stressing about not making the grade and he was all 'Calm down; you're fifteen'. Well, that's not comforting. And she wanted his help. And...argh! There are so many things wrong with that scenario that I'm going to have to leave it for another debate) and that they fought to get a place on the team.

Yes, it happens. It does. Girls (and boys these days) want to make the team, make the grade. But this man, their trainer, was breeding anorectics. The girl who was eventually found to be the murderer, killed the victim for a place on the team, the natural assumption being that her mental focus was so skewed that this is what she had resorted to. But there was no connection to her illness. And she was ill.

Anorectics are severely underweight and suffer a psychosis. They have a fear of food stimulated by a need for control, or an obsession with perfection of many other triggers. This man was breeding girls with food disorders! Why isn't anyone else appalled by this?

The most frightening thing was a girl who was appalled that she was still menstruating. She saw it as a sign of having too much weight. Amenorrhoea is dangerous.

I know this. I really, really do know this. But I guess I was really frightened by that one part because I know what she means. I hate it when I'm on; if I skip a cycle, I'm relieved. I really, really am. I don't have the world's healthiest relationship with food but I can't 'purge' for long periods of time (I can't make myself ill so I just don't eat for times). And I know that this isn't right. In fact, I know it to the extent that I tell other girls who I know are suffering (or very close to suffering) when I think that they're over doing it. And I will be very hypocritical about it because if someone tells me, I resent it. I resent being told to eat. But I know there's a limit and whilst I won't know if I've passed it, I will know when I'm coming up on it.

SO, yeh, I was furious and I've managed to upset and confuse myself. Again. But it's an issue and they just plain ignored it and that is wrong.

Went shopping today; I have the same book on order in two different stores and I'm about to order it from a library in the area. This way, I will have it by the end of this week at least (end of next by the latest). And I bought a skirt, which I was pleased about because I didn't freak about the fact that it was a skirt. it goes all whirly if I spin but I won't be doing that often cos I get real dizzy real quick - as I found out in the dressing cubicles when I smacked into the door.

I also bought three singles (Raghav, Ana Johnsson, Cassidy feat. R Kelly) and woo! Raghav's album. Yays!

I watched the second half of the Stargate finale today. Not as good as the first half and Jonas left (omigodJonasnopleasedon'tleavemeeeee!)but I'm still glad it's back. But the bestest news of the week has got to be that Channel 4 are finally - finally! - going to show The West Wing, S4!!! YES!

Now I'm going to go write an essay analysing Rupert Brooke's Peace. And then one analysing something in Early Modern English. And then I'm going to write some more of my own stuff...and call Denz...and read Birdsong.

Phew, I'm tired already!