{ aaaarrrrgh! }

[delga]

This is what people have driven me to. Three times in three consecutive posts? NOT FUCKING ON. So this is how you use an apostrophe. FUCKING PAY ATTENTION.

The Apostrophe

’

The apostrophe tells you one of two things:

That letters are missing
That something belongs to something else

1) When letters are missing from a word because two or more have been brought together, we use an apostrophe.

For example: don’t = do + not

Here, the apostrophe tells us that the second “o” has disappeared from the way we say the word. Nt is not a word; n’t actually is a word, even if we don’t use it anymore.

Sometimes an apostrophe indicates that words are missing from a phrase but that doesn’t happen so much:

For example: six o’ clock = six of the clock.

So an apostrophe? Most likely means that a letter has been taken out from the word.

2) When someone owns something else, an apostrophe tells us this. (This is actually a continuation of the ‘letters missing’ rule because possessives in Old and Middle English were denoted, at times, by ‘es’ but that’s pronounced differently so they just dropped the ‘e’ and, well, we don’t use it at all anymore. But that’s a geek out for another day).

OK, so, Jack owns a gun. The gun belongs to Jack. The gun, therefore, is Jack’s gun.

What if lots of people own something? Or lots of people own lots of things? Like…loads of people own a ball. The ball belongs to those people. Argh? No. It’s easy. You just add an apostrophe S to the end of the word owning the ball: the people’s ball.

Let’s make this super easy: use the rule of thumb. Cover up the apostrophe and anything that comes after it with your thumb and that way you’ll know who is owning whatever.

OK, this is where it gets confusing for people. The new rule is that you just add ‘s to anything that owns anything else but I personally think this is dumb standardisation. The apostrophe? REALLY EASY TO USE. If there is already an s at the end of a word? Just add an apostrophe. There is no need for an apostrophe sandwich. All that s’s crap is unnecessary. So, loads of boys own a ball? The ball is the boys’ ball. (Why oh why would it be the boys’s ball? Boyses? No).

[OK, I feel I should explain the rule that’s taught in school because people are – annoyingly – using it. Whenever something belongs to something else, add ‘s to it. So Kate has a cat? Kate’s cat. James has a boat? James’s boat. The Montagues have a grudge against the Capulets? The Monatagues’s grudge. I hate this rule because it is clumsy. If you use the rule of thumb, anyone can tell that The Montagues’ grudge is one held by many Montagues. That whole s’s stuff hurts mine eyes.]

Want to know if the ball belongs to one boy or many boys? USE THE RULE OF THUMB. Cover up the apostrophe and everything that comes after it.

a) The girl’s dog.
b) The girls’ dog.

In the first example, if you cover up the apostrophe and what comes after it, you’re left with “girl”. Ball belongs to ONE girl. In the second case? You’re left with “girls”. Ball belongs to MANY girls. SEE? IT’S EASY!

Its/it’s
OK, this is a special rule. For its/it’s, you ONLY use an apostrophe if the word is supposed to be it is. It’s means it is. That is all. It doesn’t mean that something belongs to It, whoever the hell “It” is.

I leave you with some words of wisdom I found on some awesome icon that is floating around eljay:

An apostrophe does not mean “Look out! There’s an S coming!”

Comments

[delgaserasca.livejournal.com]

Wha? (Or should I say wha'?)

No, I saw three posts in a single comm. It sent me batty. *hugs* Wasn't you :)