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delgaanyway i bought those gig tickets.
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in terms of tv i have enjoyed this past year, both killjoys and wynonna earp are back this weekend, which means it’s that time of summer where i hide from spoilers so i can binge-watch the shows once they’ve aired. i am no longer into the wait-a-week thing, and i’ve never watched kj that way. earp is a new addition to the list this year.
my least favourite part of this particular song and dance is having to ask people what their tumblr vanity tags are. before tumblr had built-in filtering (all my tumblring is done via the app these days) i just had to unfollow someone for the tail end of summer last year. i could just go offline, i guess.
ha!
—
(yes, of course i have a tech dependency; all of my people live far from me. this is how i keep up with them.)
—
i started walking in the mornings, which is definitely the best way to go about it. i’ve been listening to welcome to night vale like i tripped and fell into 2012. i’m 6 episodes in, and i love it.
the road i walk down is direct, which is why it’s the route i take, but it’s a very long main road and the traffic and the general state of chaos is off putting, even at 6am. i’m going to hit up walkit.com but i know i will probably resent the extra time it takes to walk a route that keeps me off the main one. i like efficient routes, ok! it matters!
i’m forever messing up my feet because of bad shoes and the past few weeks i’ve been wearing flat-flats because i killed the heels on my court shoes. it has really dicked with my heels and kicked off some long-term plantar fasciitis. between that, flat feet, weak ankles and hallux rigidis, i know the long-term effects on my back are going to be a mare. i do some stretching, but probably not enough. really i just need to suck it up and pay a lump sum for good shoes, with built in support. the best pair of shoes i have are a pair of padded flip flops. oh god, they’re so good for my feet. i definitely need a pair of work shoes, a pair of boots, and maybe some casual shoes in a similar design, but they’re all so fucking expensive. but if i’m going to pay money for gigs and concerts that last a couple of hours, i can buy some decent shoes ffs.
—
i’m feeling a lot better than i did, which, like, thank fuck. i think i was just having a rough time and was ill on top of that. i feel more in control of things now, and less anxious on the whole. walking is helping. i still need to sort out my employment and other things, and i wish my progesterone would quit dicking about and just drop already, but i don’t feel so much like there’s this weight dragging around my ankles. everything has stopped being so heavy.
i sometimes read the cut’s ask polly column (written by a woman called heather? idk) and whilst sometimes i think some of th advice is WAY off the mark, most of the time i think it’s dead-on. the latest one resonated because the person that wrote in was talking about the work they’d done to slough off rage, and whilst i did similar work, i was doing it for a different reason (i knew what the source of my rage was, and i knew the effect it had on me, so i do a lot of work trying to objectively evaluate whether my anger is legitimate; i have to do that because small things at The Hell Job triggered ragespirals, because each thing was linked, but it’s not always appropriate to have the same reactions now) and the thing that really hit home for me was this:
which was (is?) true of me, but SO TRUE of some people i know. i talk a lot of talk about being kind to yourself and i get irritated at prolonged displays of Irritation at Large in part because i’m sensitive to negative moods having done the work to constantly manage my own. i know i’m not always fair to people who are still in their hell-cycles in part because i am worried about being drawn back into my own. i say it a lot because i believe it: being right isn’t as important as being kind. and i don’t mean in relation to shit like appeasing racist/homophobic/conservative relations and i don’t mean tone policing about civility in the face of oppression. there was a girl at work who was getting wound up over a project we had to do because a coworker she doesn’t get along with hadn’t done the work properly. and that’s a fair cop, but at some point you have to quit huffing and puffing about the whys and wherefores and you have to get to work on the solution. stop treating everyone like a moron because they don’t do things the way you do them. (that’s a note to self as much as anyone else.) a lot of times on twitter or tumblr i have to backaway from adding my tuppence because it’s petty, and i have a tendency towards meanness that i am also working on, and over what? the exact same thing i would be getting mean over.
i don’t really remember where i was going with this but that column was really good this week, and we could all do with getting over ourselves. what’s the relative value of being right? pretty fucking low in the scheme of things. it doesn’t do anything. in and of itself it’s not a solution, it’s just a feeling, and it’s one predicated on this idea of superiority that ultimately is just hurting us. let it the fuck go. bigger fish and all that.
—
it got dark early this evening, which is both a product of the season and the clouds. i’m going to miss watching the sun set at 10pm once we get deep into august.
—
in terms of tv i have enjoyed this past year, both killjoys and wynonna earp are back this weekend, which means it’s that time of summer where i hide from spoilers so i can binge-watch the shows once they’ve aired. i am no longer into the wait-a-week thing, and i’ve never watched kj that way. earp is a new addition to the list this year.
my least favourite part of this particular song and dance is having to ask people what their tumblr vanity tags are. before tumblr had built-in filtering (all my tumblring is done via the app these days) i just had to unfollow someone for the tail end of summer last year. i could just go offline, i guess.
ha!
—
(yes, of course i have a tech dependency; all of my people live far from me. this is how i keep up with them.)
—
i started walking in the mornings, which is definitely the best way to go about it. i’ve been listening to welcome to night vale like i tripped and fell into 2012. i’m 6 episodes in, and i love it.
the road i walk down is direct, which is why it’s the route i take, but it’s a very long main road and the traffic and the general state of chaos is off putting, even at 6am. i’m going to hit up walkit.com but i know i will probably resent the extra time it takes to walk a route that keeps me off the main one. i like efficient routes, ok! it matters!
i’m forever messing up my feet because of bad shoes and the past few weeks i’ve been wearing flat-flats because i killed the heels on my court shoes. it has really dicked with my heels and kicked off some long-term plantar fasciitis. between that, flat feet, weak ankles and hallux rigidis, i know the long-term effects on my back are going to be a mare. i do some stretching, but probably not enough. really i just need to suck it up and pay a lump sum for good shoes, with built in support. the best pair of shoes i have are a pair of padded flip flops. oh god, they’re so good for my feet. i definitely need a pair of work shoes, a pair of boots, and maybe some casual shoes in a similar design, but they’re all so fucking expensive. but if i’m going to pay money for gigs and concerts that last a couple of hours, i can buy some decent shoes ffs.
—
i’m feeling a lot better than i did, which, like, thank fuck. i think i was just having a rough time and was ill on top of that. i feel more in control of things now, and less anxious on the whole. walking is helping. i still need to sort out my employment and other things, and i wish my progesterone would quit dicking about and just drop already, but i don’t feel so much like there’s this weight dragging around my ankles. everything has stopped being so heavy.
i sometimes read the cut’s ask polly column (written by a woman called heather? idk) and whilst sometimes i think some of th advice is WAY off the mark, most of the time i think it’s dead-on. the latest one resonated because the person that wrote in was talking about the work they’d done to slough off rage, and whilst i did similar work, i was doing it for a different reason (i knew what the source of my rage was, and i knew the effect it had on me, so i do a lot of work trying to objectively evaluate whether my anger is legitimate; i have to do that because small things at The Hell Job triggered ragespirals, because each thing was linked, but it’s not always appropriate to have the same reactions now) and the thing that really hit home for me was this:
"As long as you’re attached to being right about everything and everyone, you can eliminate every single thing that pisses you off, and you will still be pissed off."
which was (is?) true of me, but SO TRUE of some people i know. i talk a lot of talk about being kind to yourself and i get irritated at prolonged displays of Irritation at Large in part because i’m sensitive to negative moods having done the work to constantly manage my own. i know i’m not always fair to people who are still in their hell-cycles in part because i am worried about being drawn back into my own. i say it a lot because i believe it: being right isn’t as important as being kind. and i don’t mean in relation to shit like appeasing racist/homophobic/conservative relations and i don’t mean tone policing about civility in the face of oppression. there was a girl at work who was getting wound up over a project we had to do because a coworker she doesn’t get along with hadn’t done the work properly. and that’s a fair cop, but at some point you have to quit huffing and puffing about the whys and wherefores and you have to get to work on the solution. stop treating everyone like a moron because they don’t do things the way you do them. (that’s a note to self as much as anyone else.) a lot of times on twitter or tumblr i have to backaway from adding my tuppence because it’s petty, and i have a tendency towards meanness that i am also working on, and over what? the exact same thing i would be getting mean over.
i don’t really remember where i was going with this but that column was really good this week, and we could all do with getting over ourselves. what’s the relative value of being right? pretty fucking low in the scheme of things. it doesn’t do anything. in and of itself it’s not a solution, it’s just a feeling, and it’s one predicated on this idea of superiority that ultimately is just hurting us. let it the fuck go. bigger fish and all that.
—
it got dark early this evening, which is both a product of the season and the clouds. i’m going to miss watching the sun set at 10pm once we get deep into august.
