{ I get angry with althletic ease / break common laws in twos and threes. }

[delga]

Panic over, people - New Year's Eve is tomorrow. True story.

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So, sometime on Christmas Eve I made a tweet that was basically along the lines of OHNOES CHRISTMAS SUCKS. This was because of a whole host of reasons, one of which was that my family had arrived and instead of wanting to hug them all and wreathe them in joy, I wanted to line them up and shoot them. Guys, the levels of misogyny which exist in the older generations of this house make me want to tear off my scalp omg. Only one of my cousins was there and blah blah blah I wasn't feeling it.

TWO THINGS THEN HAPPENED. One: WINE MMMMMMMM. Two: we went to sleep. Or rather, everyone annoying went to sleep and my cousin (P) and I talked and talked and talked and talked and talked. Every now and then her phone would scare the shit out of us (errant text messages!) or our uncles would scare the shit out of us (howling re: nightmares or just wandering about in the middle of the night wtf) or one of us would say something RIDIC which would set us off into hysterical fits of laughter. (Some things I remember from that night which make us laugh but which we can't explain: partially-sighted obese people; the trials of frozen bread; velociraptors omg.)

At about 5am we decided to text V who is in India on her gap year; she then called back and for 5 minutes there was a lot of "...hello? HELLO?" "SHHHHH PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING!" "Sorry! HELLO?" and also "MERRY CHRISTMAS OMG!"

At around 8am we rolled over and went to sleep. It was midday when we woke up. OH YEAH.

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By that point my two cousin brothers had turned up and it was actually Christmas Day, and things were looking up. I procured for myself a dashing Christmas hat (\o/), we set the table, and then we indulged in the gift giving which was quietly riotous. Uncle #2 opened his gift before all the gifts had been handed out and ended up re-wrapping it before we continued with the dispersal. As is tradition, we then opened the gifts and hugged everyone, and I put on the scarf that Cousin Brother and Cousin SiL gave me. True story: I then wore that for the next two days. We pulled some crackers and I acquired TWO MORE party hats which I then proceeded to wear. By this time P and I were in tatters (it was only 2pm, guys) because we hadn't slept at all and the house was suddenly full of Glee and Good Things.

We had lunch together and really I don't remember things distinctly after that other than we eventually moved back to the living room to basically hang out etc. Seriously, there are five hours of the day that I can't account for. I think I shared pictures of Baby Cousin's Christmas play at one point and 'argued' with Cousin Brother over the gender neutrality of the kettle. Some point during the evening we played with the new T-Mobile G1 (Cousin Brother's job = awesome) and then we watched The Bank Job whilst Uncle #4 kept prodding me for spellings so that he could win Scrabble against The Sister and my Cousin SiL. (He lost.) Cousin Brother and I totally geeked out over heist movies, although we did start that conversation with him commention: You own Snatch? BUT THAT'S A GUY MOVIE. My reply was along the lines of: "...STFU."

We got ready to go to sleep at around 1am but P and I weren't tired in the least so we sat downstairs with the Cousin Brothers. I drank Baileys, and I can't remember what we talked about exactly but I do know velociraptors came up again. I don't even know, guys, seriously.

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I spent the majority of Boxing Day yelling at customers to move their fat arses to my till so that we could serve them. The Dad and the younger Cousin Brother were talking to me about how loud I was but all I could say was, BUT NO-ONE WAS LISTENING. Which was wholly true.

I went to see Baby Cousin afterwards and she showed me her Christmas loot before I took her home with me. By that point Uncle #5 and family (sans V, natch) had turned up and the evening went much the same as Christmas Day had except there were more of us. Night #3 of basically no sleep, lols.

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The day after was sad because everyone left and we had to clear up. That said we found all the cracker toys/gifts and I felt vaguely pirate-y with all the goods. We also found a box of biscuits that we were supposed to share over the break. Pffft. The Sister and I ate pizza and biscuits (yeah, I know, disgusting) and watched the Criminal Minds pilot (we bought her S1 for Christmas). MUCH YAY.

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And that was Christmas. Somewhere during all that, I started trawling through the Yuletide archive. See post previous for recs.

I hope everyone else had a peaceful/enjoyable Christmas break, and that it went quickly if not. And now I am going to try and sort out the pictures we took last week, huzz.