{ if I could hold on. }

[delga]

So, yeah, I have a cold, but I'm doping up so the only thing that I really have to worry about (other than my temperature fucking over my taste buds) is a tickly throat. I've been sleeping for about 12 hours at a time, so I don't know how I'm going to get to the lecture on Monday morning. It's Robert Browning this week, but I haven't done the reading for that yet because I've been in the library working on my dissertation for which I can't actually access half the materials that I need, so I'm talking to someone about that on Monday, post-lecture #1. I have to meet with my supervisor on Thursday, so before then I have to have written a dissertation proposal, and on Tuesday I have my ExWrit seminar, so I have to have written this thing for then. It's supposed to be a critical piece, but it's also supposed to be something else. I don't really understand. I think we're supposed to try and play with the new sentence? It irks me a little because unlike the style, I don't actually think that constituent parts of a sentence are political, and thus it pains me to not be able to actually denote my subordinate clauses as subordinate clauses. I'm all about curbing comma use but clause separation is pretty fucking vital. I guess the idea is to open up language play, a la Gertrude Stein's On Poetry and Prose (so, prose poetry) but I really don't need this right now. (Hahaha, AND I have to read for Monday for that class, too.)

It's not like I'm not working, I am. But I feel like I'm not getting much done. I'm done working with Winterson's Weight and I'm about to move onto Pelevin's The Helmet of Horror but I'm floundering with my research, and I'm freaking out about that stupid proposal because it's taking up time I could be using to do something else.

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I really liked this week's Private Practice. Charlotte King is an excellent character, and I also love Addison and Naomi's friendship. As for this week's Grey's Anatomy, there was a lot going on, and I don't think I can judge it until I see the next episode.

I also saw Criminal Minds (twincy, you're going to want to watch the first 5 minutes AT THE LEAST) which I loved. I mean, I didn't love that it read like fanfiction, but I loved the three guest actors (Marc Vann, Nicholas Brandon and Bailey Chase) and I loved all of the regular cast. I actually really enjoyed the scene when Rossi gets in Garcia's face because I liked that he was so direct. And I loved all the little scenes between Garcia and JJ. If you think about it, they've known each for a long time, and they often end up in the BAU together. They've been friends through both of Gideon's breakdowns, through Elle and Reid's traumas, through Emily and Rossi's arrivals. I think we sideline them a bit because they're not actually profilers, but their friendship must be something else.

This week's CSI: NY was excellent; unusually, I watched that straight after I watched NCIS (normally it's one of the last things I watch). I've yet to see last week's CSI let alone this week's; I haven't watched Bones or The Unit, or Dexter, although T and I watched the Weeds finale which was predictably wonderful. I watched Pushing Daisies last night before I went to sleep, and I find Emerson more and more delightful every week.

So, yeah, am fannishly behind, not that I care all that much. Am planning on watching Numb3rs and Women's Murder Club today, and then this evening T wants someone to watch SVU with so we're going to do that. We'll probably end up watching the CM repeat that's on afterwards, too.

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Also: I want to get up to speed on Atlantis all of a sudden. Eek.

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But really, the real question is: to what extent would Ziva be a necessary addition to the team had Kate not died? Could you kill Tony and have Ziva instead? Possibly. I don't think Ziva is subordinate to anyone, but I don't think she's just Kate's replacement. For one thing, she's important to Gibbs' arc in a specific, feminine way. But she's also important to Gibbs' arc in terms of Ari, and if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: Ari's ghost only dies when Ziva goes to Gibbs in Hiatus Part II.

We always think that Kate and Ziva are separate entities, that they exist apart. But they have to exist simultaneously (a) for reasons of reality and (b) for reasons of Ari. I don't think they're as mutually exclusive as portions of fandom would like for them to be.