{ the girl with the cocaine }

[delga]

To The Five-to-Eight Chinese Post-Grads Currently Smoking Up The Kitchen,

First off, you do not need to eat all the way down the hallway. Secondly, you need to clean up spillages. Thirdly, you need to clean the cooker when you're done. Fourthly, you need to OPEN A FUCKING WINDOW because I can smell that grease from where I am.

Next, you need to stop smashing things around. It sounds like a fucking armageddon in there and if I have to go in there one more time to tell you to shut up, I'm coming armed with pointing objects (or blunt ones to lob at you, whichever is handiest). On top of that, there does not need to be EIGHT of you if there are only THREE cooking. Sit the fuck down. That's what the chairs are for. I was going to throw a mini-pizza in the oven but not only has your food put me off eating for three days, I could not possibly get to the oven BECAUSE THERE ARE EIGHT OF YOU WHEN THERE IS BARELY SPACE FOR HALF THAT AMOUNT.

Please hurry up and get the fuck out of the kitchen,

No love,
M.

P.S. Also, you do not need to YELL SO FUCKING MUCH. YOU ARE STOOD RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. I do not understand how the volume on my laptop is at it's highest, which is pretty fucking high, and yet I can still hear you. JEEBUS.

God, honestly. Someone get me some aspirin, a usable shower (this is the worst day for the drainage to go funky on us) and chuck the invasion out because I am too cranky to deal with all of this shit. Gah.