{ the bitch in me }

[delga]

In recent years I must have become a nicer person. Because these days, I don't tell people to fuck off. I do it behind their backs. In that spirit, Things I Would Say To Your Face If I Still Had The Balls:

1) Oh, shut up! No-one cares except for you! And you think being all super-secret about it is cool because you thought of it and no-one else has before but that's just plain stupid because people have done it before. And to think, what, you were going to make some great social comment? WHATEVER. Just stop talking about it. NO ONE CARES.

2) Why the fuck do you keep telling me the petty details of your life? I mean, ok, I'm pretty willing to sit here and listen to how bad things are for you (see point 3) because I get that people need to vent and all, but the way I see things, your problems (well, except for the big one, which, ok, you get my sympathy) are SELF PERPETUATED. Stop being a whiny brat and grow a pair.

3) YOU ARE THE MOST SELFISH PERSON I HAVE EVER MET EVER. I listen to you ramble on about all kinds of ridiculously ironic shit and then I am nice to you and you don't even ask me how my day was. I'm a good friend to you, the only one you really have left because I humour you and I'm a good listener, and I get that you need to talk to someone but (a) only calling me when you need something from me is rude and (b) I wouldn't mind a little reciprocity kthnxbai.

4) You're fairly disdainful of people like me and yet I still like you. How did that wind up? I'm such a fucking sycophant. But you could be less of a skinny brat, too.

5) You're disgusting. Clean up or I'm going to move all that crap into your room. I so mean it.

6) OMIGOD SHUT UP YOU TWAT. I'm trying to take lecture notes on a subject that I don't understand. Not only is the lecturer talking ten to the dozen and confusing himself but you're taking the piss out of him and everything he's saying and thus I AM MISSING THINGS AND UNDERSTANDING EVEN LESS. You're a blowhard. I hope you lose your voice.

OK, I feel better now. Also, I finally saw the GA episode I got spoiled for and I will just say that I liked all of it except for the ending, which might have made more impact if I hadn't been spoilered & even with all the foreshadowing seemed like a total left-field thing. I'm going to go do...stuff.