{ guess what: it's Sunday morning! }

Everything is reviewed now [...] I mean, literally everything. Like toasters are reviewed on Amazon.
Who are these people? [...] Who in their right mind goes home and goes, "toast, I need to write a review on the toaster. Settings two to six are an embarrassment!"

{ All women have a slutty friend. If you can't think who it is, it's you. }

"How many people here have gone to bed so angry that you pretend to have a nightmare just so that you can smack [your partner] in the head? I've done that twice this week."

I have to say, Caulfield is one of the funniest comediennes on the British circuit right now. My gosh. I think what I like about her the most is that unlike a lot of female comics, she takes her humours from others as opposed to herself. This is a tres masculine trait, but it's a nice change from all the self-deprecation that goes around. Her direct opposite is a lovely wee bloke called Mark Watson who is the quietest, loveliest guy. But it's been a bit weird watching these episodes as they air (I came to the Live at the Apollo series really, really late) because they've featured some really great people that I've never heard of. And now Shappi Khorsandi is everywhere, and I saw Sarah Millican on Have I Got News for You and basically I want to see as many comedy acts as I can now. Which. I don't know what that is. I still want to see a ballet at Covent Gardens, too, so I haven't completely flipped over, but my levels of obsession are a wee bit up right now.

Guys, this was the last in the series. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW? You know. Other than see Michael McIntyre live (!!!!) in October?

{ hard to be soft, tough to be tender. }

I'm not sure I really approve of jelly. You can't hold it, and it feels wet to the touch without leaving moisture behind. I mean. WHAT IS THIS MALARKEY? So. There's that.

--

I have posted quite a bit this week! This is surprising considering a) I haven't had any more time than usual and b) I don't have anything more to report than usual. Admittedly it has all been spam of one form or another, but still. It feels ~weird~.

Other things that are weird: jelly.

--

I went to see Ice Age 3 with xanitia and yaiyeishka on Friday and much fun ensued. The film is okay; xanitia thought it was better than most. I... didn't. So. But good company should never be shunned and the pre-film meal was worth it. I know, I know; always my stomach. I have priorities, okay? And I was hungry.

--

Aunt #5's family are visiting from India and whilst The Dad and Uncle #5 were over there in 2003 they paid them a visit. Naturally we were going to return the favour so The Dad & Uncle #5 discussed dates and times when it would be good to meet up and play host. That's all very well but they eventually settled upon different dates. YEAH. So when Aunt #5 called up this morning, The Mother was all, "WAIT WHAT THE WHAT NOW?" and Aunt #5 was all, "..."

In short all this means is that the visit isn't happening which works entirely in my favour.

Quasi-relatedly, it's The Sister's 18th birthday this week so I'm going out with her and her friends for a birthday meal on Friday and then a fortnight from now we're having one of our family-o-ramas. I AM SO PSYCHED. I am more psyched than The Sister, in all likelihood. But these things are so great! My 18th featured a BOUNCY CASTLE FUCK YEAH. In fact, the bouncy castle was the only thing missing last August on my 21st. Family get-ups are awesome.

--

Encounters I have had this week:

I was wandering around Paperchase on... Thursday? Friday? Not important, moving on. Anyway, Paperchase, wandering - I bump into a shit load of stuff because my bag is humongous and I'm a klutz, and I bump into this 40-50yo guy and am MORTIFIED by my lack of co-ordination. I can tell he's an Indian ex-pat. It is fairly obvious. But anyway, he starts asking me the prices of the keychains and I explain they're four quid except - out of reaction to his Indian-ness, which is a bit racially presumptive of me BUT WHATEVER - I say it in Gujarati and so it begins: are you Indian? From which part of India? Oh, Gujarat! I'm from Gujarat, too! HOW MARVELLOUS.

As it turns out, he's from Surat which is close to Navsari, not to mention Dhambar and Erhu, the latter two being the villages where my entire family originates. And he knows them, of course. And so I have this entirely random, entirely small-talk-filled conversation with this guy, in my half-assed Gujarati which held up pretty well under the circumstances (hell yeah, bilingualism!) His daughter was at university in Cambridge and was about to embark on the job hunt, and he was heading back to India at the weekend, and Cambridge has very nice little shops for gift-buyers, and it was nice to meet you, yes, you too, take care! LOLS WEIRD.

Then an hour or so ago I headed to the co-op to pick up some peppers &c. (and jelly, apparently - vegetarian jelly!) and was looking for curry sauce powder or curry powder sauce or something something curry whatever. So I go up and down this bloody aisle and still no joy, and eventually I have to get over myself and just as the shelf-stacker to help me out. He's all, sure, it'll be over here, how are you?

...I'm fine?

As it turns out, he recognised me because I USED TO BE HIS SCHOOL PREFECT WHAT THE HELL. I still didn't recognise him but I felt that shame - you know the kind that I mean, when someone knows you but your brain doesn't have the common courtesy to recognise them back, and you feel BAD about it, and then try to be doubly charming because HEY, you FORGOT this person existed, and then you ask them meaningless questions because you want to seem like the kind of person who cares, even though you obviously don't care enough to remember who they are. In the end we couldn't find the stuff that The Mother wanted and he was all, sorry about that, and I was all, oh, don't apologise, I don't hold YOU personally responsible, whereas all the time I was actually thinking, oh, don't apologise, I couldn't even remember you, so comparatively that's not such a big deal, har har, well, lovely to meet you EXIT STAGE LEFT.

And that was an hour ago.

--

This morning = driving lesson. No one died, so that's a plus. No one was even mildly injured! Definite plus!

--

Tomorrow: work. Work is a bit stop and start right now. Friday was riotous for no real reason, and I'm busy sending out postal assessments because apparently the actual assessors are all TRES BUSY. Last week was really, really busy because one of the Seniors came back after taking a week off for Wimbledon. Except she now has next week off, too, so I'll be busy again in a week's time but not next week. I have to do the amendments to my appraisal, too, because I've got a 1-to-1 with my line manager on Friday. The plus side is that I'm also only working half a day on Friday because I have accumulated enough flexi to do shit like that. Tremendous!

--

Wordy post was wordy. Now to do... other stuff.