{ Girl, Interrupted }

I have a coherent plan in my head for the Numb3rs fic. Some sections are mapped out perfectly and just need to be written. Once I start, I'll be fine.

I find that when I finish a book that I've connected with on some level, the ending leaves me anxious. Or high. Or both, actually. The end of a book gets my adrenaline flowing. I finished Girl, Interrupted at around nine last night. Then I picked up my pen and I wrote until close to midnight, or thereafter. I don't really know the time frame. I don't think the book would have struck me so hard if I hadn't pretty much read all of it in the past two days. There are elements of it that remind me of The Bell Jar but mostly, I think, Kaysen is far more truthful with herself and her audience. Plath shrouds her memories in fiction so you're never really sure which parts of the novel are her and which parts aren't at all. Also, Kaysen writes in this direct tone, very matter-of-fact - lots of simple and compound sentences at times. The narrative jumps in time; not massively but sometimes it doubles back on itself. It's her life, open to scrutiny. Plath, of course, embodied her memories in half-truths and as such (as with all her writing, even her journals) the prose can become whimsical. I will have to read The Bell Jar again.

What I find interesting are the differences between the book and the film. Obviously, elements of the autobiography are compounded for the sake of brevity. But there are other points, other details that are magnified and abstracted. Take Angelina Jolie's persona, Lisa. In the book, yes, she runs away, she is larger than life, difficult. In the film, she is ten times that. She is sensual and alluring, a predator. The Lisa of the film stays behind; the Lisa that Kaysen knew got out, had a little boy.

I recommend both the film and the book. I recommend the book because of the weight of its truth; I recommend the film for its fiction. Both are stunning in their own way and both have the potential to unleash the mind.

(no subject)

I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF

And you say nothing at all
Well I couldn't have said it better myself
Tonight the conversation takes the fall
Just love me like you love nobody else

I see the angels, they're standing right outside your door
They're watching over me, they're watching over us all
You can send them home tonight, because you won't need them anymore
In your arms I think I've found the safest place to fall
When I step in the door and I stare at your face
There are so many things that I wish I could say
Well I struggle with words but they put up a fight
You can keep your mouth shut, because it doesn't really matter tonight

I will guide you all the way
Because I know exactly what you're trying to say

You have the right to remain silent
I'll get the light ...
You get that smile

And you say nothing at all
Well I couldn't have said it better myself
Tonight the conversation takes the fall
Just love me like you love nobody else

And I know you feel the same
You've been searching for the words,
Now you know what to say

Just say nothing
Don't say a word
Silence is gold
Don't say a word

This is the moment we've been waiting for
If I exercise my right
I will take your body language and hold it against you tonight

And I know you feel the same
I've wondered all my life, if this moment comes would I know what to say
Then you say nothing at all
So many times I stumbled on the words that I wanted to say
You say nothing at all
So many thoughts, that I should have just let my heart explain
You say nothing at all
So many ways we could turn the words around
You said nothing at all
So many nights our hearts came crashing to the ground
You say nothing at all
So many dreams that are finally coming true
Well, I couldn't have said it better myself
Now you finish me off when you finish my thoughts the way you do

You say nothing at all
Well I couldn't have said it better myself
Tonight the conversation takes the fall
Just love me like you love nobody else

{ I see the angels, they're standing right outside your door }

This is by no means comprehensive and I'll update fully tomorrow but a few notes on tonight's NY and SVU. In no particular order.

• "You stay away from me." Oh the angst! And we thought Livvie was clever. Great ending, brilliant pace. And Fin :)
  
• Who the fuck is writing this dren? "That's not the only reason why..." Like Mac would even talk like this. Find your way around syntax, buddy. So saying that, Sinise and Kanakaredes totally saved that scene.
  
• Danny, take it easy kid. Didn't you get smacked on your ass last week for chasing down a perp?
  
• Flack? Get a new tie. Or a new wardrobe.
  
• Directors? Bring back your NY filters. I don't care if the show was dark. NY doesn't see that much sunlight.
  
• Cheesy at times but still the best thing. And SVU is love.